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Episode 19 - Alone in the Dark
''Alone in the Dark ''is a 2005 horror/action film directed by Uwe Boll that is very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very loosely based on the video game series of the same name. It is notable for being Boll's worst film, which is saying a metric fuckton. Plot Your guess is as good as ours. Notable characters *Edward Carnby *Aline Cedrac *Richard Burke *Lionel Hudgens *Captain Chernick *Sam Fischer *Sister Clara *Agent Miles The Episode *This episode broke the Guinness World Record for most unanswered questions in a two-hour span. Scores James - Constipation Damien - Zilla (It should be noted that Damien used this Final Word well before he and James decided to review Godzilla (1998)) Highlights *Stephen Dorff and Christian Slater form a Supernova of Non-charisma *Liu Kang is killed via pit fatality. *A Coinstar machine spitting out a seagull with a pickle in its beak, bass guitars for legs/feet, and Tommy guns for wings shooting people while playing "Sir Psycho Sexy" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers *The hosts declare that this movie's script makes less sense than ANY other movie they have ever reviewed--even including the likes of ''Birdemic'', Showgirls, and ''The Room''. However, it turns out that a couple years later, they would find a script that makes even less sense... *"A million monkeys with a million hammers, standing in a line, hitting each other in the head repeatedly, then forced with their fingers to use the brain fluid and blood to draw on a piece of paper could not come up with a script that makes less sense than this movie." References *''House of the Dead'' *''The Legend of Chun-Li'' *''The Wicker Man'' *''Black Christmas'' *''DeadAlive'' *''Birdemic'' *''Highlander 2'' *''Titanic: The Musical'' *Woody Harrelson *Randy Savage *''Street Fighter'' *Tony Jaa *''Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever'' *''Dead or Alive'' *Milla Yovovitch *''Fat Albert'' *Larry the Cable Guy *''The Godfather'' *''Citizen Kane'' *''Ace Ventura'' *''The Mask'' *The Alkaline Trio *Fall Out Boy *My Chemical Romance *Bullet For My Valentine *Taking Back Sunday *The Used *''Highlander'' *''WarGods'' *''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles'' *Randy Savage *''Alien'' *''Blade'' *Splinter Cell *Nick Palumbo *Nomi Malone *Little Tortilla Boy *''Friday the 13th'' *Justin Credible *Kate Beckinsale *''Family Guy'' *''Bloodrayne'' *Rob Zombie *''Resident Evil'' *''Silent Hill'' *''1943'' *College Humor Batman *NeNe Cherry *''Saw 3D'' *''Mortal Kombat'' *''Final Fantasy'' *''Dragon Quest'' *''Xenogears'' *Wolverine *''The Room'' *''Battlefield Earth'' *Red Hot Chili Peppers *HP Lovecraft *''Alice in Wonderland'' *Audrey Hepburn *''Godzilla'' *''Godzilla: Final War'' *''Showgirls'' Tiradesverse tropes *Protagonists? - Edward, Aline, and Burke *Plot convenience - Literally every scene in the movie *New Santroitcagobergville *MacGuffin Disease - The parasites that infect Edward, the bald guy, and the 20+ orphans *Edited at gunpoint *Finer Cronies and Goons, Inc. - The zombie people *Random sex scene - Edward and Aline *There Are No Police - **Edward kills a guy in broad daylight in the same crowded area, and steals a cop's gun right off of him, but is never pursued **No police ever show up to the museum despite there being an extended gunfight *Massive gunfight - Three of them--one of which happens in the dark and is almost impossible to see *Exposition fairy - Sam Fisher *Nonsensical Title - Built-in because it was supposedly based off the video game series and was absolutely nothing like it; also, at no point is anyone alone in the dark except a security guard for about 20 seconds *Unrealistic Real Estate - Edward's humongous living space with a giant computer/science laboratory *Bullseye Bullshit - Edward shoots the lock off a door on the outside of a cellar from inside *Brick Wall Ending - The streets are empty... for some reason. Plus, like everything else in the movie, the ending goes unexplained Ending song Before and After Previous Episode - Episode 18 - Highlander II Next Episode - Episode 20 - The Last Airbender Category:Episodes Category:Action films Category:Horror films Category:Video game adaptations Category:2005 films Category:Uwe Boll films